My ex-coworker is pressurizing me to take a leave from my office to plan her wedding. It’s not that I wouldn’t love it. I would love to be a part of her wedding, but I have already taken too many leaves that my company will deduct my salary if I take any further leave. She has started nagging me to go for it, but I don’t know what to do. Also, I stay in the United States and her wedding is taking place in India. We have worked together for last six years. Not only where we co-workers, but also closest friends. We used to rent an apartment together when she was working with me in my company. She wants me to become a part, but she doesn’t understand that I can’t bunk my office days.

My boss is already pressurizing me by giving me too many tasks to complete. She just resigned two weeks ago so I’m supposed to finish her share of workload as well. I am already trying to cope up with that as I have to finish and report my work along with hers in a month

I don’t know what to do. I am planning to start ignoring her phone calls and avoid her as much as possible because I have no other option. I can’t risk getting fired from work just because of a wedding ceremony. I have worked too hard to reach here. What do you think I should do? Can I talk to my HR manager about the leave plan? Or do I talk directly to my boss about this whole issue? Please help me out. I am totally confused and absolutely frustrated. I don’t wish to disappoint her, but at the same time, I don’t want to face my boss’s wrath. Suggest me something.


Dear Reader, I understand that you're trapped in the dilemma. Considering that you’re cut short of leaves, you will have to somehow talk to your friend about it. Call her and discuss your situation with her. Tell her that you are having such problems and I am sure she will understand. But, wedding is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If she is your close friend and not just ex-coworker then you should have planned it in advance.

Why don’t you talk to your company about this issue? If you are able to finish your task beforehand then I don’t think they will have any issue with that. Try talking to your HR Manager, I would suggest. He/She is the only person that can help you out in such case as they deal with employee benefits. Tell them that you’ll work overtime to cover the missing hours and finish the work. I’m sure it will help.

You can tell your boss that you are planning to visit the wedding of the ex-coworker. I think he may help. But talking to your boss is the last option. When nothing works, you can go to your boss and address your issue, but before that, I don’t think it would be wise to go and talk to him/her about it.

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